RH Reality Check
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Get Real! Should I Feel Bad About Taking Plan B?

By Heather Corinna, Scarleteen.com

July 18, 2008 - 7:00am

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Stacey asks:

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 months and we just started having sex. He was my first and I am completely in love with him. We've been protected for 4 of the times with a condom, but tonight we didn't use one. He was about to pull out right before, but he came. I'm really scared that I could become pregnant and I know that one of my friends has the "morning after" pill, but I feel bad taking it. I am so worried and confused. HELP ME!

Heather replies:

Why do you feel bad about using emergency contraception?

Just like condoms, how it works is to prevent a pregnancy, and emergency contraceptive pills (Plan B or the Morning-After Pill) work the exact same way any combination hormonal birth control works, it just only needs to be taken after the fact, rather than before, and every other day like the birth control pill is taken.

People have some pretty weird ideas about emergency contraception, but most of them aren't based on facts. If you feel bad because you don't feel like you could be okay with an abortion, and think EC is abortion, I assure you, it's not. If a woman has already become pregnant, emergency contraception doesn't have the capacity of being able to terminate that pregnancy. It's birth control -- contraception, NOT abortion or termination. Some of why people have inaccurate ideas about EC is because so many people are ignorant (and some try and keep others just as ignorant) about how conception occurs, and in what timeframe. The reason EC doesn't work after 120 hours -- and why pregnancy can be prevented, not terminated within that time -- is that for a pregnancy to complete often takes around 4 - 7 days: it's not something that happens immediately, because there are many steps to that process which require some time.

Here is the serious lowdown on EC: if it doesn't answer all the questions you may have about EC, all the links within it should. If you want to know more about how pregnancy happens, take a look at this: Where DID I Come From? A Refresher Course in Human Reproduction.

But maybe you already know all there is to know about the real way the Morning-After Pill works.

Do you have an ethical objection to any kind of birth control? If so, it might help to know that barrier methods, like condoms, do the same thing, even though they work in different ways: all birth control methods prevent pregnancy. Any method of birth control -- withdrawal, which you have been using, included -- disrupts some part of the process of a possible pregnancy, be that by keeping sperm from meeting an egg (like with condoms, withdrawal or cervical barriers), keeping an egg from being released (like with many kinds of hormonal birth control) or changing the uterus so that an egg is unlikely to be able to implant (like with an IUD). Emergency contraception can also work in any or all of these ways. If, on the other hand, you have an ethical objection to any kind of birth control, that's something else, but I'm also not sure then that I understand why condoms or withdrawal have been okay before.

Perhaps obviously, if you do have an ethical objection to every kind of reliable birth control, then unless you want to be pregnant and are ready to be pregnant, it's not a good idea to be having any kind of sex which creates a risk of pregnancy. Too, unprotected sex also posts risks of sexually transmitted infections, and it's safe to say that almost everyone doesn't want an STI.

Do you feel like at this point, it's up to fate to decide? If that's the case, what I'd say to you is that unless fate is going to provide for you and a possible kid, I'd have to question that logic, as I have before the times when I've heard people voice it. First of all, fate didn't decide anything here: you both made the decision (presuming you two were in agreement on this) not to use a condom. That's you deciding, or if you didn't agree, your partner deciding. On top of that, "fate" or factors out of our control may put us in certain situations, but that doesn't mean -- especially when those situations may result in consequences we don't want or aren't prepared to deal with -- that when we can have some control at some point that it's sage not to take it when we CAN do something to possibly create a better outcome for ourselves and others. With pregnancy, things get even more complicated because there's potentially a whole new person in the mix who we owe the kindness of being sure we can care for them -- emotionally, practically, etc. -- before we make a choice to risk bringing them into the world, you know?

No matter why you'd feel bad about using EC, if it is not the right thing for you to possibly be pregnant right now, and/or you know that isn't something you want, I'd encourage you to reconsider. Abortions are far more costly, and even being pregnant for a month or two until we can get one tends to change our lives, temporarily and emotionally. Legal abortion procedures are not complex procedures, nor are they horribly painful, but they are emotionally difficult for many women and do present some health risks which using EC does not. Suffice it to say, having a kid is a FAR larger thing than that in every arena of your life: for your body and health, your finances, your interpersonal relationships, your life goals, your sexuality, your mental health, the works. As I mentioned, it also impacts another life: a fetus and then kid doesn't get to make their own choices, they rely on the soundness of the choices you make for them.

So, now it's up to you as to what you want to do about this, and the only thing I can encourage you to do is whatever it is that you think is the most right for you and the whole of your life. And that's something only you are the expert on.

No matter what you do this time, though, if you're going to keep having intercourse and don't want to become pregnant, you're going to need to find and agree on a reliable method of birth control, and both commit to using it properly and consistently. We can help you figure out what method that is here: Birth Control Bingo. We strongly discourage our users from trying to use withdrawal as a sole method of contraception. When practiced perfectly, it does have the capacity to be very effective, but that is ONLY for couples where the male partner has EXCELLENT control over his ejaculation and a lot of practice having sex to be super-familiar with his own sexual response cycle. And for younger men, not only do they usually lack that experience, control over ejaculation is something that younger men simply are rarely developmentally capable of. In other words, their bodies can prevent them from practicing it perfectly even when in their minds, they very much want to. To give you an analogy, the birth control pill would be a very bad choice for someone who compulsively vomits: their bodies would keep them from being able to use the pill properly. Make sense? Too, since you're the one taking the big risks, having a method which you have NO control over isn't always so wise, and there are a lot of other methods which you can control and which are far more goofproof.

If you want to reduce your risks of sexually transmitted infections -- especially if you are not his first, or if either of you have had any other kind of sexual partnership before this -- you'll need to practice safer sex, including using condoms. And since it may take you a little while to get another method of reliable birth control, sounds to me like it might be smart to just re-commit (both of you) to condoms for now no matter what, if you're going to keep having sex.


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17 comments
No! Withdrawal does NOT have "the capacity to be very effective"
as birth control. The pre-ejaculatory fluid which comes out of the human erect penis as a form of lubrication contains plenty of sperm, even though it only consists of a couple of drops of liquid. Women have become pregnant as a result of withdrawal even when it is practiced with perfect self-control by the male partner. Please stop telling people that withdrawal works.
Submitted by MaryOGrady on July 18, 2008 - 6:50am.
That does not seem to be accurate, Mary...
If you believe women have become pregnant from pre-ejaculatory fluid alone, you would need to cite your source to convince me. There does not seem to be a medical consensus on the matter. However, it seems to me from the studies I have read that the only time pre-ejaculatory fluid is likely to have sperm is when a couple is having sex for a second time and the tract has not been cleared by urine. Otherwise, there does not appear to be viable sperm present as far as I have read. Again, you would need a source to show that women have become pregnant even when withdrawal was used perfectly (which would include not having sex a second time without clearing the tract.)
Submitted by RK on July 18, 2008 - 9:05am.
Withdrawal/perfect use
Believe me, Mary, as the product of the withdrawal method, I'd hardly be inclined to tell untruths just because. I talk about how poor a method withdrawal is daily. However, we have to consider that for some folks in the world, their access to other methods is limited, so it's important they know when a method can work. otherwise, what usually happens is that, feeling helpless, they just figure they may as well use nothing at all. But the fact is that very reliable sources, like Contraceptive Technology, list withdrawal as being very effective with perfect use: around 96% effective. Mind -- and I think I'm clear on this here -- it is one of the least effective methods with typical use, but I have to go by the facts. Women have become pregnant with perfect use of EVERY method of birth control, including the pill and the IUD. Not just this one. If a method failing in perfect use meant a method did not work, NO method would work.
Submitted by Heather C. on July 18, 2008 - 11:13am.
usefulness
Withdrawal does have it's uses, but mostly as a short term solution. Honestly, I think this lack of understanding about the need and methods of birth control is a major lack on the part of the parents. If adults would just pull their heads out of the ground and realize that their "innocent" children are having sex, a lot more prevention could be done.
Submitted by TheNerd on July 18, 2008 - 4:15pm.
Why are we assuming she
Why are we assuming she means emotionally bad? Plan b can cause physical discomfort as well, and since she mentions she was using condoms as her b/c method, it may be that she was asking for a way to overcome a physical difficulty. 1) Taking B/C with food greatly reduces the nausea, if not eliminates it. For the women I've known the nausea of pregnancy was much more severe and of longer duration than the side effects of plan b. 2) If you can't keep the pill(s) down, a depo shot will have the same effect as Plan B, and the nausea still won't last as long as a pregnancy.
Submitted by Michelle on July 20, 2008 - 12:11pm.
Well...
Usually, Michelle, when someone at Scarleteen says they "feel bad" about doing something (or in repro health, period), they do mean emotionally bad. If they have a concern about how they'd feel physically, or if something is safe, they tend to voice that pretty clearly, with statements like, "I don't want to get sick," or "I'm worried it isn't safe." Too, we often get this, teens feeling emotionally bad about it, because many of them are told or hear that EC is abortion, thus, why it's not surprising they feel fine about condom use, but "bad" about using EC. In the case that I was mistaken, one of the links I gave her does discuss the physical issues. I am not at all aware, however, of Depo being given as an emergency contraceptive or working as such (and we don't do that at the women's clinic I work for, either, nor have I ever seen any reference to that in contraception resources or references). If you are, could you point me to some sources on that? Because if it is, it's certainly something I need to know about.
Submitted by Heather C. on July 20, 2008 - 1:42pm.
Natural Family Planning
Why do things that have side-effects or cause pain? What about the natural cycle of the woman? There are times she is fertile and times she is not fertile, right? So, during the fertile time if she doesn't want to get pregant then don't have intercourse? Is this too simple?
Submitted by Truth on July 24, 2008 - 10:55am.
FAM & Teens
Natural Family Planning isn't a method that is usually effective for younger women, Truth. For starters, to do FAM and have it work, you have to have HIGHLY regular cycles, and a majority of teen women do not have those yet. It often can take as many as five years, and sometimes more, for menstrual cycles to become regular. As well, it's tough enough for many young women to be able to take a pill every day or a patch every week. Taking basal temperatures, examining cervical mucus and charting it all over time, every day, is seriously pushing it for most. Even for those who do have regular cycles and who can chart daily and make predictions accordingly, they're also still reliant on a male partner's cooperation with that method and abstaining from intercourse during fertile times, which is one more barrier to that method as workable for young people. Suffice it to say, FAM also offers no protection against STIs, another huge issue for young women.
Submitted by Heather C. on July 24, 2008 - 11:23am.
NFP & Teens
Get to the core of the problem and solve it from there. You are fighting the symptoms and not the disease. Why accept defeat? You assume (I think from statistics) that because teens have gotten pregnant and have reported Sexually Transmitted Diseases (Both are Symptons) that by "patching" or putting a "band-aid" on the symptons you can make it go away, right? You can't - you must deal with the core - as would any good Doctor with a disease. What I mean is that everything you are pointing to assumes that teens are not disciplined and smart enough to accomplish this task of using their natural cycles to have or not to have children? You say this (I assume) because you look at the statistics and say, "Wow..teen pregnancies are up and teen STI's are up so holy maccaroni and cheese-sticks we've got to solve this problem of teen sex (symptoms)."...Or something like that, right? No doubt you have good intentions, but give teens/people more credit. Don't we teach our children, friends, loved ones the old axiom, "...good things come to those who wait.." -- PATIENCE. Teens need their thought processes slowed down, which requires teaching from the parents and guardians (school, church, community) to use their brains and not be led by their emotions or instinct (this is what separates us from animals). See a pattern here. Staying the course of teaching what is Right requires PATIENCE on the teachers' part also. Teens are looking for holes and you are giving them all kinds - you are giving them to yourself as well. Haven't we all learned that the "quick-fix" mentality is dangerous and that it doesn't work anyway? Are we too lazy? I think if we gave children (especially teens) more confidence to use their brains and self-discipline that we wouldn't have to have discussions at the congressional level of what should be done about teen pregnancies, STI's, etc. (i.e. "bad" statistics). You are exarcerbating the issue by offering ONLY topical anesthetic for the pain of a gaping wound. Not good.
Submitted by Truth on July 24, 2008 - 12:45pm.
You missed the critical point, clearly.
This isn't surprising, though, since looking around here at the comments today, you clearly have little interest in listening or reading. Seems clear the person doing a whole lot of assuming around here -- and consistently incorrect, thus far, looking at the other comments -- is you. Young women do not usually have regular cycles so that ANY amount of patience and diligence will make FAM a sound method for them. I can want to eat dairy all I want, read up on how to eat it all I want, but I have a physiological inability to do so without becoming incredibly ill: young women who do not yet ovulate in regular patterns cannot make themselves do so just by wanting to. For those who do have regular cycles, and do want to use NFP, I provide just as much information on FAM at Scarleteen and elsewhere as I do on other methods of contraception. I also don't figure out what I do about young people by taking a quick glance at Fox news. I've worked in sex education full-time for over ten years now, and my site serves tens of thousands of young people a day. I draw most of the conclusions I do about young people from talking with them directly, secondarily from looking at broad, sound studies and research, and given what I do with my living and who I advocate for, it is profoundly silly to suggest I don't have confidence in young people. That's also a big part of why I respect their choices -- including the choice to engage in sex if and when that is wanted -- don't infantilize them and furnish them with as much information to make them as possible rather than telling them what choice you or I think they should make. Suffice it to say, I don't use capital-R "right" in talking with them, live under the ridiculous fantasy that waiting for sex means they won't later still have to address STIs and contraception, or talk about what teens "need" in a way that isn't largely about what they, themselves, say they want and need. However, when it comes to knowing what their bodies do when, that's basic reproductive physiology and anatomy. You can argue that it isn't as much as you want, but you're going to have to argue with millions of young women who know full well how irregular their cycles often are.
Submitted by Heather C. on July 24, 2008 - 1:34pm.
Critical Point - It's a Sales Pitch!
Maybe your rhetorical "facts" work on children but that's probably about it. You have bought completely in to the sales pitch of contraception. It goes like this: "Irregular? Painful Periods? Acne? Hormones all over the place?...'Get on the pill!'" What 12-14yr old girl isn't or doesn't experience this? Biggest load of B.S. I've ever heard - good sales pitch, though! No, couldn't be - big drug companies don't like to make money at the expense of the general unenlightened public. Do they? Let's break-down the pitch: Irregular? - How do they know what's regular when they're not given a chance to record their cycle? They're being told by their pro-contraception doctors before they start that they will be irregular. You probably believe that everyone is unique, right? So what is irregular? You mean each woman's cycle is unique, right? Go get on the pill because your unique and you don't have the time to figure out how unique you are because your not really worth all that time and trouble. So we'll just call it irregular. Is that what they told you when you were 12, 13, 14 years old, Heather? Painful Periods? - Yep, get used to it. Or take the pill and never get used to it and then get off the pill when you finally want to have a baby (if you can by then) and then Look Out because the pain will be intense (mainly because your not used to it). Could it be in the Master Plan that God wanted you to have pain once a month to get used to child-bearing? You know, build up some tolerance to it? Acne? - If you want to fight acne - fight acne - there are plenty of herbal remedies or American Medications to take care of this. They focus big on this one. Let's see, do you think there is a bunch of people sitting around an Advertisement Agency somewhere saying, "How can we get women on the pill?" "Oh, I got it, women like to look good, right, especially those around the pre-teen to teen age group, let's put a chemical hormone in the Pill that helps their acne." I think that guy got promoted - don't you? Probably was a man! Hormones all over the place? - "This too shall pass..." It's called puberty and it is temporary. Don't allow yourself to be used by horny teenage boys who will drop you as soon as you give them what they're after - you're better than that. The only message they're hearing is: "Here's a pill that will take care of the consequences of making adult decisions before you are an adult." Your sending our sheep to the wolves to be slaughtered. They're children. They're looking to us for stucture, and you aren't providing it - this is irresponsible and wreckless. If you think that children can decide what is best for themselves then why have parents at all. We'll just hand our babies over to the State right after they're born. The teens that are visiting your site probably don't have parents at all or probably have parents that don't care enough to take the time for themselves or their children. I just think it is sad that you clearly are confused yourself and are trying to teach the children. I am praying for you.
Submitted by Truth on July 24, 2008 - 4:13pm.
...Critical to Whom??
Your points, Heather, are critical. It is critical that all teens who are seeking immediate and long term relational disasters in their lives open their minds to your infectious illogic. Maybe your rhetorical "facts" work on children but that's probably about it. You have bought completely in to the sales pitch of contraception. It goes like this: "Irregular? Painful Periods? Acne? Hormones all over the place?...'Get on the pill!'" What 12-14yr old girl isn't or doesn't experience this? Biggest load of B.S. I've ever heard - good sales pitch, though! No, couldn't be - big drug companies don't like to make money at the expense of the general unenlightened public. Do they? Let's break-down the pitch: Irregular? - How do they know what's regular when they're not given a chance to record their cycle? They're being told by their pro-contraception doctors before they start that they will be irregular. You probably believe that everyone is unique, right? So what is irregular? You mean each woman's cycle is unique, right? Go get on the pill because your unique and you don't have the time to figure out how unique you are because your not really worth all that time and trouble. So we'll just call it irregular. Is that what they told you when you were 12, 13, 14 years old, Heather? Painful Periods? - Yep, get used to it. Or take the pill and never get used to it and then get off the pill when you finally want to have a baby (if you can by then) and then Look Out because the pain will be intense (mainly because your not used to it). Could it be in the Master Plan that God wanted you to have pain once a month to get used to child-bearing? You know, build up some tolerance to it? Acne? - If you want to fight acne - fight acne - there are plenty of herbal remedies or American Medications to take care of this. They focus big on this one. Let's see, do you think there is a bunch of people sitting around an Advertisement Agency somewhere saying, "How can we get women on the pill?" "Oh, I got it, women like to look good, right, especially those around the pre-teen to teen age group, let's put a chemical hormone in the Pill that helps their acne." I think that guy got promoted - don't you? Probably was a man! Hormones all over the place? - "This too shall pass..." It's called puberty and it is temporary. Don't allow yourself to be used by horny teenage boys who will drop you as soon as you give them what they're after - you're better than that. The only message they're hearing is: "Here's a pill that will take care of the consequences of making adult decisions before you are an adult." Your sending our sheep to the wolves to be slaughtered. They're children. They're looking to us for stucture, and you aren't providing it - this is irresponsible and wreckless. If you think that children can decide what is best for themselves then why have parents at all. We'll just hand our babies over to the State right after they're born. The teens that are visiting your site probably don't have parents at all or probably have parents that don't care enough to take the time for themselves or their children. I just think it is sad that you clearly are confused yourself and are trying to teach the children. I am praying for you.
Submitted by Truth Returns on July 25, 2008 - 10:08am.
Sorry, I was really busy today slaughtering sheep.
Critical according to women like Toni Weschler and Katie Singer who have been writing on and teaching women how to use natural family planning so that it's actually effective for decades. To have it be effective, women using it need to have regular cycles so they can accurately predict when ovulation will occur in the next cycle. Calendar method NFP works for some women, but it's known to be far less effective that CM and/or BBT methods are. As such a staunch advocate of NFP, I'm surprised this isn't something you seem to be aware of. This has just gotten downright silly. First of all, NFP/FAM is contraception, just like, say a diaphragm or a birth control pill is contraception. These are all types of contraception. I haven't said anything at all here about young women needing birth control pills to regulate their cycles (and if you knew anything about me, you'd know I have a record of often being critical of BCP overuse and marketing): when I educate on contraceptive methods I explain ALL methods so that those choosing one can have the information they need to choose what is best for them. I understand you think it is your place, and perhaps my place, to tell a person what birth control method they should choose based on personal preferences or belief systems, but I strongly disagree. That is not my place. Either your reading comprehension is lacking or you're purposefully not looking to engage, but just to prattle on randomly with all of this mishegoss about the pill here. What I suggested cycles needed to be regular for -- in their own way, just by the passage of time, as it often takes several years, sometimes more, for young women's fertility cycles to become regular -- was for women to be able to use natural family planning effectively. You can dispute that if you like, but you'd be in conflict with, again, women who have dedicated their life's work to teaching this method so that it actually works reliably for women who choose it. If 20-30,000 young people every day don't have parents, that's a statistic that's pretty outside the ballpark of what anyone is aware of. We can be quite sure that the majority of young adults -- not children, I don't counsel children -- who use our site have parents or guardians. We can also be sure many of them care for their youth plenty. I am not confused. I'm quite clear: I simply do not agree with you, nor do I share your religious beliefs. And flatly, I'd appreciate it if you afforded myself or anyone else here both room for differing faiths as well as room for discourse about the topic at hand, which is not your religion. I won't be engaging with you further. P.S. I haven't been used by a "horny teenage boy" in a couple of decades (and my recollections of such are primarily pleasant), but thanks for the tip. I'll be sure and stay on the lookout!
Submitted by Heather C. on July 25, 2008 - 7:21pm.
I have to agree with Truth
I have to agree with Truth to a certain extent (except for the whole natural childbirth thing - I almost kissed my anesthesiologist!) Lets assume that this letter from "Stacey" actually is from a real teenager. That poor kid has more to worry about than just getting pregnant. The younger you are when you become sexually active the more likely you are to eventually contact an STD. AIDS is still deadly and many many STD's that can be "controlled" to a certain extent with medication still can't be cured. If you really do have young kids coming to you for advice you have to let her know that she can Never do this (withdrawal or oops I forgot!)again. She must Never take this chance again or She Can Die!! I know that's not what kids want to hear, but it's the only responsible thing for an adult to tell them. Limitless supplies of morning after pills and abortions aren't the answer to everything.
Submitted by clarem on August 5, 2008 - 12:00pm.
No, I don't.
I don't have to let her know that, particularly since my job, as a comprehensive sexuality educator of many years now (and as a classroom teacher years before that), is to give people accurate information with which to make their own choices, not to dictate those choices to them, and to treat them with respect. Even if I felt that was the right thing to do, even if scaring them seemed somehow ethical or like fear-mongering would be worth a possibly positive outcome, I have every evidence that panicking people and telling people not to have sex does not protect anyone's health, has not ever had the results those who keep pushing it so badly want to believe it has (check out the devastating public health results of the first U.S. "chastity campaign" during WWI if you want some historical perspective), and also frequently backfires. Of course, it also tends to result in people having a pretty unhealthy sexuality psychologically, which is no small concern in my book. I also tend to be concerned with fraud and with teaching young people to tune out accurate information and critical thinking through fear and intimidation. What I can do -- which is exactly what I do do -- that I know, through sound, credible science-based data, through watching many, many clients/students over years and years (who I assure you are real) -- is advise them in what best reduces their risks, which includes stepping back from sex but which also includes safer sex and sound contraception. Most young adults will, and always have, choose to be sexually active, as will most adults (And sexually transmitted infections don't magically stop being transmitted once a teen becomes an adult. The statistic you presented here, too, is not as cut and dried as you'd think: 13 year olds are twice as likely as 17 or 18 year olds, and yet those who begin even at 17 have the same incidence of infection as those who forestall intercourse until the age of 24. In other words, while this is certainly a big issue with very young teens, it is not the same issue with older adolescents.). I disagree that telling young people "They Can DIE!!" if they have sex is responsible. I think it's quite the opposite: it's knowingly manipulative. Certainly, some STIs do present very serious health risks and risks of death, particularly if undiagnosed and/or untreated. We talk about this plenty every single day in my work with young people. However, most STIs are curable and treatable, and most do not present the risk of death all by themselves. That is simply inaccurate. Do you suggest I tell young people they must never drive in cars since the risk of injury and death is so high (higher than it is for deaths due to STIs), and when no one actually needs to drive in a car to begin with? Ten bucks says that no, what you'd instead suggest is that I do what I can to teach them about safety with driving and make sure they know they should wear a seatbelt.
Submitted by Heather C. on August 5, 2008 - 12:48pm.
As I clearly said above,
As I clearly said above, I'm not asking you to tell kids they will die if they have sex. I'm asking you to tell this girl that she can die if she continues having totally unprotected sex with a guy she's know barely two months. He could easily transmit HIV to her or any other STD. You know this as well as I do. You are an adult. You owe it to this girl to give her an honest, accurate and complete answer, even though its clearly a responsibility you would rather not deal with. As to your comment "I don't HAVE to let her know that"-- Well you're probably right there. You probably have no legal obligation to do anything. Just like if you saw this poor kid drowning you have no legal obligation to get your feet wet to save her. But, keep in mind you're not just a random spectator to this girl's dangerous situation. You've set yourself up here as some kind of authority on sexual health. She asked you for HELP! It is deranged of you not to give it to her in so far as her life is concerned. You've taken on a huge responsibility here to provide accurate advice to other people's children. They should be your first concern rather than drumming up business for your planned parenthood friends. Take your rose colored glasses off long enough to get your feet wet.
Submitted by clarem on August 6, 2008 - 8:34am.
In the answer...
...it's all in there. I very clearly advised she use condoms to protect against STIs and talked about safer sex with her. I talked to her about the need for reliable contraception. It's all right there in my answer to her and the links I included in that answer. I do not have to tell her she can die, in this answer, to tell her how to be safer, nor would my including that likely change her behavior. Instead, it would simply leave her feeling more panicked about a risk she already took and can't take back. I've been doing this for ten years: if I ever had rose coloured glasses, I assure you, they've long since lost their sheen. I provide some of the most in-depth information on the web for young people on birth control safer sex, every STI, the works, for around 25K in users every single day. I hardly consider myself a spectator. I don't know who exactly my friends are at Planned Parenthood, or how I personally benefit from any "business" they do, but if you do, by all means, please fill me in.
Submitted by Heather C. on August 6, 2008 - 8:49am.