It’s Not Easy Being Pro-Choice
by Pamela Pizarro, RH Reality Check, North America
August 3, 2007 - 8:45am (Print)
It's not always easy being pro-choice. You immerse yourself in a subject that would make most people cringe: sex. Then trying to explain to your family and friends, probably some who don't share the same point of view, that you believe that every individual should have the right to express who they are and have complete autonomy over their bodies. And it becomes even more complicated when you express that you believe that even children, teens, and young adults should have these rights guaranteed.
I have worked in the field of sexual and reproductive health and rights for nearly four years now. When I first began working it felt like I had found a cause that really encapsulated values that I saw as important. I also began to realize the difficulties of trying to explain what I did. Even today there are people in my life with whom I do not discuss the subject.
However, it also helped me to see more than ever that we need to fight for the rights of men and women, who can not raise their voices on their own. Small NGO's (nongovernmental organizations) help to bring services to the people that need them the most. Without these small, grassroots NGO's, the gap in essential services would continue to exist. However because of social conservatives, these workers sometimes take a risk with their lives. We hear about foreign workers killed or injured because they are attempting to change cultural norms, however we forget that in our own countries this problem still exists. For example, abortion providers are still being targeted by anti-choice individuals. In Canada, medical doctors that provide the procedure have been forced to go underground in some cases because they fear that they will be the target of an assassination attempt. Even professionals that work for pro-choice groups know that there is a risk that anti-choice people will show up at their offices to harass and intimidate them.
No, working for pro-choice organizations is not easy, but it is necessary. In order to change minds we need to educate through the programs that are out there. We need to fight the tide of social-conservatism to show that we all do not believe their rhetoric, and that we will walk the not often easy road of being pro-choice.
I write a blog about adolescent sexuality for parents and teachers, I teach sex ed classes for preteens and teenagers and classes on adolescent sexuality for parents. (My blog is http://www.adolescentsexualitytoday.blogspot.com.)
While I have been reading on these issues and thinking about them academically for years (I just finished my Ph.D. in Educational Psychology), it is only recently that I have had "come out" as being (most notably) pro-choice and pro-condom education to my family and friends. Most of my friends and family have been supportive, but my grandparents in particular have taken to nodding politely. They still ask me about what I am doing, but they don't seem to really want the answer. I am very, very sad that I can't share my goals with them as openly as I used to. And I suspect that they are just as sad that they don't want to hear about my work as much as they use to. I continue to hope that as my work in the field becomes stable and long-term, they will grow to be more comfortable.
Again, thanks for writing about this particular issue.
Karen
I'll echo Dr. Rayne's comments and kudos for discussing this. I, too, plan to enter the field of sexuality education and promote the serious discussion of it for children and young adults. And, as with the two of you, I expect to experience some pushback from other people. Fortunately, my parents are the ones who taught me a healthy respect for my sexuality as I was growing up, so I know I have their support.
Anyway, keep up the good work here.
As a long-time pro-choice activist who runs a pro-choice group and is frequently in the media, I'm often in the position of debating whether to mention what I do and worrying about how people will react. I do other unrelated consulting work too, so this worry extends to clients and the possibility of lost work if they happen to see me on TV for example and are "turned off." Usually people react supportively, or they don't seem to care much, so it's not too bad. (I remember being in a meeting with a corporate client once discussing business when she suddenly interrupted to say excitedly with a bright smile: "Oh! I saw you on TV last night!" But she wasn't sure what side of the issue I was on and it didn't seem to matter, LOL.
Still, that worry is always there. And I don't like having to hide what I do or what I believe, since it's such an important part of my life. I recently hooked up with a valued childhood friend and felt sad when that effort came to an abrupt end after she learned what I had "become." To top that off, my family is fundamentalist Christian and strongly opposed and judgmental of what I do. Also, I have to keep my home address private, as local anti's have tried to find out where I live.
Yes, it can be very isolating at times. But in spite of all that, it's worth it and I'm very proud and happy to be doing what I'm doing. Thanks for this article.
