Last week I discussed the manipulative tactics that are the foundation behind the propagation of the so-called "post-abortion syndrome" and my own experiences over the course of 34 years counseling women who need support and affirmation of their choice of abortion. What did we talk about in these "post-abortion counseling" sessions? Most women—some brought their male partners—simply wanted to talk and affirm their decisions because they weren't confident that they could trust anyone in their lives with this "shameful secret." Some women felt sad and were looking for resolution for the loss. A few felt doubt about their decision. We talked about what had changed from the day of the abortion to the present. What were they missing in their heads and hearts? What was happening in the rest of their live? How was their primary relationship (if there was one) affected by the experience of abortion? Where they searching for the road not taken—was "the baby that will not be" a fantasy unfulfilled? What would she say to "the baby" if she could? What ritual or process would be healing and helpful to say let go and truly say good-bye? When appropriate—if the woman raised the themes of faith—we would discuss religion and God. I referred to God as not punishing, but loving, and told them that he/she understands what we need to do to survive, live, and care for the others in our lives. I believe God grasps the profundity of our decisions and acknowledges abortion as a moral and loving choice.
Always, the women who wanted to talk about God were surprised by the discussion of God as loving and understanding in the context of their abortion choices. They were accustomed to any talk of God and abortion to be one referencing sin, hell, evil, and murder. Our post-abortion session discussing a kind and supportive God as part of the healing process was a new approach for those women who asked for this direction. It was always a focus on the choice of abortion as moral, compassionate, and loving, and about reclaiming trust, self-love, and healing to accept and reaffirm their decision. The women were always surprised by our validation and honor for their choices.
That is a far cry from the approach of Ms. Arias, who is quoted in the NY Times piece describing abortion in very different terms to the incarcerated women to whom she ministers. Referring to abortion as "this covenant of death" and using the "gospel" of repent, she says to women: "Save other women from what you did....to get to heaven, you must be forgiven...."
Just what does Ms. Arias believe she is saving women from? After all, poverty, abuse, sexism, racism, and a lack of social support for women in many areas of their lives are the true struggles for women today. The article goes on to say that "academic experts continue to stress that the psychological risks posed by abortion are no greater than the risks of carrying an unwanted pregnancy to term...when women who have abortions experience lasting grief, or more rarely depression, it is often because they were emotionally fragile beforehand, or were responding to the circumstances surrounding the abortion." In addition, the "psychological risks for adoption are higher for women than those for abortion," according to Dr. Nancy Russo, a psychology professor at Arizona State University. Are we women who have given their children up for adoption now going to be targeted?
William F. Harrison, MD, an obstetrician-gynecologist who provides abortions in Arkansas, writes: "In my opinion, ‘post abortion syndrome' is real...but only...to those counselors with a strong fundamentalist religious commitment who also claim that they are ‘pro-life' in their politics. Why are they seeing this syndrome while the vast majority of mainstream counselors are not?"
Why are they? Some women may truly suffer after their abortions, but this isn't only about abortion. Charlotte Taft, who worked for many years at a Dallas clinic, is the innovator of the technique of "emotional triage" that she used with women who expressed additional conflicts regarding their abortion decision. Of the NYT coverage, she states: "...Even the title of the article reveals how thoroughly we have been manipulated. Devastating emotional distress can be associated with a childbirth, adoption, parenting, infertility, and, yes abortion...Political polarization tricks us into focusing on abortion, when the fundamental issue is the constellation of emotional, spiritual, physical, and social experiences that surround (all aspects of) pregnancy and motherhood...Some women have abortions they expect to regret because they feel deeply that they are not qualified to be ...good...mothers. With little support on mourning their losses...they are encouraged to blame abortion... our greatest chance of healing requires telling all the truths...beware the tricksters."
Ah, yes...the anti-choice tricksters, who refuse to really look at the complexity of women's lives, want to blame all of society's conflicts and pain on abortion, and, of course, ultimately, criminalize abortion. Using the trick of "saving" women from this fate, their actions clearly would ultimately hurt, and kill, women if we lost legal abortion in the U.S. Lisa Littman, MD, an obstetrician-gynecologist and preventive medicine resident at Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York City, observes: "I'm astounded that anti-choice people who claim to care about women's emotional health and safety think that illegal, unsafe abortion and treating women like criminals would be better for their emotional and physical health than legal, safe abortion with legitimate support services."
That is the core. Legal abortion saves women's lives. That is what we must preserve in our country. Beware the wolf in sheep's clothing—the anti-choice trickster, the manipulator, who stigmatizes abortion and strives to keep women trapped in their grief as a political weapon. They claim to care about women, but their movement and ever evolving tactics demonstrate otherwise. Their actions would ultimately cause us to suffer and even die.
